Why on earth do we watch it?
It's pure and utter shit
A heap of orange morons
With fake arses, lips and tits
Botoxed to deformity
They all look the bloody same
Muttering pithy comments
Their convos
quite inane
Revelling in their Essex speak
calling people m8
r u going 2 the gymn 2nite
oh wow thats really gr8
Are the folks that live there like that?
It can't all be really true
Do any of them go to proper jobs
the doctors or the loo?
Do they ever get some acne
Or frizzed hair from the humidity
Please tell me that they sometimes tire
With the general stupidity?
I'm guessing not, it's popular
I suppose it's all clean fun
But there must be somewehere else
That they could do a programme on?
Oh wait they did, with Geordies
And the desperate
scousewives too
And of course the Chelsea posh kids
Not a bit like me and you
I'm sure there's parts of Britain
where it's not a bit like that
where the people are quite normal
or even plain and fat
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