No sugar in my tea

Oh I wish I had a magic wand

That I could wave with glee

It would make me nice and skinny

And I could have sugar in my tea

I wouldn't have to stop and squint

At information on the back

Of every bloody food I eat

And of every bloody pack

I would have butter on my crumpets

I'd do my chips in lard

I'd have wine with every dinner

As my arteries grew hard

I'd wear all my clothes with confidence

And  eat choccy all the time

I'd  have white bread in abundance

All warm and crisp - sublime

My deep fat frier would be used

Almost daily I would say

My fruitbowl would be empty

And I'd never ever weigh

Fat club would be a no no

I'd be spared the guilt and pain

Of stepping up and standing on

And told I'd had a gain

But of course I'm being fanciful

All this will never be

I need to check the fibre

The fat and calories

But all this will never happen

Not when my favourite veg are chips

I need to just behave myself

As I would really love my hips

To have some actual bones again

And I would love to find my waist

I need to eat what's good for me

And NOT  because  I love the taste

Of all my favourite nibbles

So it's salads now for me

No choccy, chips, and not much wine

And no sugar in my tea.